I challenge people intellectually. It’s what I do and think is important to understand how people view the world so that I can see this holistically and how it meets with my own reflections of getting to know the mind and nature of humanity.

One thing for sure that I have observed in many people is a lack of self-belief and this includes me too. But I believe that the fundamental reason for this is because we are always in ambiguous settings and hovering with and around ambiguous climates. Nothing is sure in the modern world and thus anxiety has increased. The idea to stand out might be met with suspicion when one wants to be their authentic selves. Everyone might be talking of mental health but are they getting to this root cause? How many accounts do we have in history of people who were complacent or agreeable and changed things? These two can’t coexist. And yet the modern world through all its endless emphasis on social status, work culture and obsession to giving the ego everything damages the self or shall I say creativity that makes us human. No one can speak the truth and this uncomfortable feeling is the height of spiritual oppression. It is like Lady Macbeth’s quote ‘Be like the innocent flower but be the serpent underneath’. All these organisations pledging to be open and supportive are actually far from the truth of what the human soul needs and yearns for. Who am I fooling, how could capitalism ever be in our best interest? But they will make you seem foolish for having a problem when they’ve supposedly given you everything. True power is when one thinks for themselves and relies on nothing but their own self sufficiency and an objective truth. This is the essence of spirituality which has declined and become unknown. Now we wonder aimlessly wondering why we feel a void…

Why do I use a harsh tone? To show my indignation. It is almost as if having a strong opinion in this politically obsessed world means you are transgressing. And so I believe all structures – whether that be legal, or any other are completely profane and fallible and elitist. We are kept to passively nod in acceptance. We don’t know what is better for ourselves because the need to stand out is removed. Instead of rising up and calling out on real issues we debate the next celebrity breakup and are fixed in a powerful parallel reality consisting of nothing but vanity.

So I urge people to wake up and not be complacent. Yes we may not have actual structural oppression but it is all ideological. Everyone is made to feel inferior. We have no history. This is postmodern. To everyone who feels anxious you are not alone. You are strong. We can beat this feeling of helplessness when we learn that there is a higher more spiritual purpose to one’s life. You are important. But the world will never show you that. Most people just care about your social status and nothing more. That’s the simple fact.

So what to do now – move away from capitalism. Say no to a deadening lifestyle where you are only known by your role and nothing more. Is that how you want to be remembered when you die? R.I.P – project manager. Is that really meaningful?

Dare to be you for once.

This is a topic I have wanted to write about for a long time. After studying, pondering and discussing Colonialism with family and friends I came to realise just how necessary it is to the current state of identity politics and paranoia.

University modules on Colonialism taught me what GCSE History failed to. Having access to writers such as Edward Said and James Baldwin made me understand my heritage and my place in history. Thus I shall start off with a quote from a recent book I read to set the tone for what I will be discussing:

The people’s character is deliberately debased, their mind is denationalized and perpetually kept in ignorance and fed with stories of England’s greatness and ‘mission’ in the world…

Inglorious Empire: What the British did to India, Shashi Tharoor, p. 190

This was declared by an Indian nationalist group in London in the year 1915. This summarises the ideological control that Britain sustained over India during the time period. The effect it had on India was paramount. They were less ‘civilised’, less original and overall less worthy than their British superiors. This undermining helped their colonizing mission further as they somehow needed reform. So how can this attitude still relevant today? Colonialism may have been a capitalist exploit but now it remains embedded in the rhetoric we use. It has now manifested into an inferiority complex ingrained in the psyche of ethnic minorities who feel their own heritage is lacking in some capacity. The only way to break this cycle is to teach Colonialism openly and not only in cultured surroundings or tight knit academic circles. If we shed light on the past we can understand the present modern identity crisis.

Until topics such as colonialism are not openly talked about ignorance will prevail and those affected will not see themselves as indiviauls but some forgotten community who will need to reinvent themselves. If we uphold this binary of good and bad then we are perpetuating the same divide that already exists. Instead we need to challenge the premise to spread self knowledge, community bonding and create a dialogue around this.

“Every empire, however, tells itself and the world that it is unlike all other empires, that its mission is not to plunder and control but to educate and liberate.”

Edward Said

The ideological results of colonialism still exist but they are silent and more entrenched in the mind than ever…

I think it’s safe to say that growing up in a multicultural place like London has its pros and cons. For me the cons outweighed the pros. I realised from a young age that it was harder to attain the grades I wanted because I was worrying about the levels of noise and distraction around me in my large household situated in a busy crowded neighbourhood. When you grow up making sacrifices for family and compromise your own success you learn a new kind of altruism which is actually why I loved growing up poor.

The main frustration I had as someone from a background like mine was the lack of cultural capital. Yes. My parents did not have the knowledge of how to navigate the education system to their children’s advantage and this stood out to me all the time. When it was time to go to university I truly believed I was making the best choice. I would finally compensate for my family’s lack of education and cultural awareness. But that feeling has now eroded away and I find myself more empowered than ever. Believing in your differences as strengths can have powerful effects on your self esteem.

Since graduating in 2017 doing English and suffering from a mental health breakdown I now realise that I can only depend on myself. I’ve become less hopeful about my degree and more hopeful about using my innate skills which span writing, speaking and spirituality. Finally, at 23 years of age I realised that family, community and self empowerment are the true harbingers of success. A degree can only give you so much in practice and that was my key frustration: it was all theory for me.

Anyone who studies English knows we love being pompous and making the odd Shakespeare joke but I am not here to be liked. I just want to expose a few things. One is that there are far too many ignorant people who do not understand that everyone doesn’t share the same occupational, social and cultural milieu and so my seminar room was a hotpot of nerves and embarrassment. I was probably the only working class person there. The sheer gap between higher education and classes was noticeable to say the least and so this meant that I tried to be even more cultured and not talk in my normal dialect. What stupidity?

Flash forward now and I proudly talk in a ghetto accent because I do not want to fit into any category. I am who I am and no amount of degrees will change that. What I have learnt is that sometimes we let external things like academic success define us and we forget that we can depict any version of ourselves. Society is like a mirror – whatever you show it it will reflect back at you. And so I have become more confident being a Pakistani, Muslim female from a working class background.

When I put all those labels on myself it reassures me that I have not forgotten my identity and how I need to know who I am before stepping out into the world. I choose to create my own standard.

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton